An Embodied Approach to Stress Management and Work/Life Balance
I remember my days of practicing law. The stress was constant and very intense. I found it hard to make time to go to the gym, see friends, or go to an art gallery. My productivity at work suffered. I felt constantly behind the eight ball. Over time, I became so frazzled that I was often too tired to connect with people and loved ones when I finally left work. My life felt more and more out of whack as I let the pressure of practicing law slowly pull me away from myself and what was most important to me. Ultimately I the balance became so lop-sided in favor of work that I had to leave the practice of law because I was burnt out mentally, physically and emotionally.
Increasingly, law firms are paying attention to issues of work/life balance because of the critical role it plays in the retention of talented attorneys. Much of the current work-life balance discussion centers on firm policies that support flex-time, part-time, compressed work weeks and virtual workplaces. However, while the firm’s policies are important, it could be a long time for policies catch up to the needs of working attorneys.
At its core, the concept of work/life balance is the result of the perception that you can complete your work and still have enough energy to connect to the people and things you love outside of work. You, as an individual, play an enormous role in feeling like you can finish your work, avoid burnout, prevent stress-related illnesses and stay engaged and connected to your loved ones and hobbies. Surprisingly to some your BODY is the key!
Anxiety and stress bombard you all day, but you are probably largely unaware of their on your body. Consider the following scenario:
You are driving to work and get stuck in traffic or delayed on public transport. The whole way, you worry about not arriving on time for an important client meeting. You tightly grip the steering wheel, clench your jaw and hold your breath. You arrive at work to find out that your assistant is out sick and a quiet case has “heated up“ requiring lots of immediate work. You hold your breath and literally brace yourself for a hard day by tightening your chest as you head into your client meeting 10 minutes late. The meeting goes well, but you now have a mountain of work ahead of you. Again, your breathing becomes more shallow because your diaphragm is rigid from holding it together and your blood pressure is increased. By noon, your shoulders are creeping up towards your ears from all the tension and holding. You run out for a power work out at the gym, but you are rushing so much to and from that it hardly gives you a break from the tension of your day. You don’t even notice that you were clenching your jaw the whole time and held onto the stair master with a grip that could strangle a small animal. When you return to the office you have received an unexpected motion for discovery from opposing counsel and just about “lose it” as your heart rate and blood pressure increases. But you hold it together by again contracting your stomach and chest, holding your breath while your shoulders continue to creep up so that you finally resemble a headless horseman. Just as you are about to leave for the evening, you get a nasty and contentious call from opposing counsel. You definitely feel shaken as your heart rate and blood pressure shoot up dramatically. You have a headache and pain and tension in your neck and hands. You rush home to spend time with your spouse and kids but you are exhausted and would rather tune out by watching TV.
For most of you, this is a common day. Your body is constantly responding to day-to-day stressors—getting more and more wound up each day without you really noticing. And, if you do notice, you tell yourself to grin and bear it or tough it out.
Most people in corporate America view the body as the mechanism to haul their brain from meeting to meeting and ignore the critical role the body plays in coping with stress. We rarely consider how our own self-image and ability to perform at our best is affected by our own posture, breathing, and muscle tension etc. In reality, the body and mind are far more integrated than we could ever imagine. It may be surprising to learn that your body, posture, muscle tensions, and facial expressions actually affect your ability to think clearly, perform at your best, regulate your emotions and mood, and your ability to renew and rejuvenate. The intimate link between the shape of the body and our ability to perform is understood more clearly everyday because of exciting new research in the field of neuroscience. And, it’s why the field of Somatic Coaching, which works with the body as well as the mind to develop great leaders, is continuing to gain momentum.
The bottom line is by paying attention to the subtle changes in you body and learning to leverage the wisdom of your body you can perform at your best and feel a sense of balance—whether that means a high conflict situation with opposing counsel, the day to day stress of work, or simply connecting to your loved ones after work. Let’s look at why and how focusing on your body can make this happen.
Continue Reading 1 comment January 14th, 2009