Embodied Clarity

Willpower–Does it Help or Hinder?

December 17th, 2008

Will power is a topic of many a coaching conversation.  How do we get ourselves to undertake lifestyle changes and tasks that are difficult?  Many of us believe it’s simply a matter of putting our heads down and pushing through—using willpower to force our way through.  But in my experience, this approach leads to eventual burnout.  It does not lead to sustainable change because our ability to bully ourselves into action will eventually cease.   But how else can we move to take on new behaviors or tasks?

Moshe Feldenkrais, a physicist and judo master, spent years studying how people learn.  He developed a system of movement education based on increasing one’s awareness of how one moves.  He believed that it is possible to create conditions for success that allow people move to action without forcing it through willpower.

In our society, effort is rewarded.  In many instances, finding the path of least resistance is somehow less admirable.  Feldenkrais points out that if one can do something without the sensation of effort, it is not good enough.

“From early childhood we are taught to strain ourselves.  Parents and teachers seem to receive sadistic satisfaction from compelling children to make an effort.  If the child can do what is demanded of him with no apparent forcing of himself they will put him in a more advanced class or add something to his duty just to make sure the poor thing learns “what life really means.’… [O]ne is not supposed to be satisfied unless one really feels the strain of pushing the limits.” (Moshe Feldenkrais, The Potent Self p. xii, 1985)

If something falls into place easily, we often assume it a fluke.  We may even repeat the act just to make sure we strain ourselves the second time and thus feel like we have accomplished something. This type of behavior is glorified as sign of great willpower.

But, as Feldenkrais notes, “….willpower is necessary only where the ability to do is lacking.” (The Potent Self p. xii)  He goes on to say that in learning new ways of directing oneself, it is essential to bring about optimal conditions for success.  When you ask someone else to do something for you, there are ways of asking that make it more likely that the person will oblige.  When you bully or nag the person, they are less likely to want to help you. No one responds graciously or willingly to nagging.  So, just as there are ways to ask someone else to do something that are more or less objectionable, there is the same distinction when we are asking ourselves to do something. Nagging oneself is as bad as nagging another.  If you direct yourself rudely—blaming yourself for being lazy, weak, clumsy—you can rarely oblige willingly. (The Potent Self p. xii)

Much of the time when we direct ourselves to do something, we bully or nag ourselves to do it and then we call it “willpower.”  Willpower is tantamount to nagging oneself to do an action by bullying or nagging oneself.  But it is much easier to get yourself to do something without tension or bullying yourself.  And, more importantly, the body responds to willpower by becoming more rigid and stiff in body and manner. (The Potent Self p. xi)

Feldenkrais further notes that we need to employ willpower, when we need to overcome something that inhibits us from acting. We are not able to perform the action because the “desire” to do does not lead to action because it is outweighed by contradictory motivations of equal intensity.  For example, you want to clean out the garage but you do not do so.  Moshe Feldenkrais explains the inability as follows:

“In all cases of inability to do, there is a feeling of “ought to” which is more pronounced than “want to.”  “Ought to” already contains the element of “I do not want to” so it is inhibitory of any action.  Many times we are unable to enact certain motives because we want them vaguely; ‘we feel the sensation of ‘ought to’ instead of ‘want to.’” (The Potent Self p. 4)

In other words, one does not need to bully or force oneself into action.  Instead, in order to move towards a goal or an action, the key is to limit cross-motivations that interfere with the intended action in order to form clear motivations and intentions. When you have a clear intention and motivation to act, there is no reason to use willpower.  In the words of Moshe Feldenkrais, “[l]earning as I see it, is not the training of willpower but the acquisition of the skill to inhibit parasitic action (cross-motivations) and the ability to direct clear motivations (minimize counter-intentions) as a result of self-knowledge.” (The Potent Self p. xii)

Although this all makes logical sense, you may be asking yourself how to move towards clear intention and clear action.  This is where somatic coaching provides a potent method for dealing with counter-intentions and cross-motivations.  The body provides a gateway into changing the inability to act.  Feldenkrais explained that all thoughts, emotions, and actions have corresponding muscular contractions associated with them.  There is a flood of the nervous system that creates an emotion, and/or thought as well as a set of muscular contractions.  They become hard-wired together.  Therefore, if you want to change the thought or behavior, you can remove or alter the physical contraction.  When the physical anchor to a thought is removed, the nervous system cannot respond in its habitual manner.  A new possibility for action is born.

You may be asking, how does this level of detail relate to willpower?  The bottom line is that anytime you bully or nag yourself into taking an action, there will be a set of parasitic contractions that occur in the body—as simple as holding your breath or clenching your teeth.  Many more may be much more subtle.  They take away from the action and intention because they are not necessary and in many instances actual contrary to the movement.  For example, imagine trying to sit up at your desk.  Sitting requires much less muscular effort than many of us realize.  Think about a baby—they sit bolt upright, without any tension in their body.  They are a soft and mushy.  But many of us, have many parasitic contractions that develop related to sitting such as holding one’s breath and tightening the chest wall, both of which cause the muscles in the front of the body to contract and pull the chest down.  To compensate, we work harder in the back to hold ourselves up than necessary.  So, holding your breath is counter to the action of sitting up straight.  It is a parasitic contraction and runs counter to the intention to sit up straight.   We have numerous and ever more subtle counter-intentions that arise both mentally and physically.  Since every thought has a corresponding set of muscle contractions, every time you nag or bully yourself it is expressed through the body in the form of parasitic contractions.

So, for example, you have the feeling that you “ought to” clean out the garage.  This thought is accompanied by a sinking in the chest, tightening of the diaphragm and chest wall and subsequent shallowing of the breath. These habitual contractions are not necessary for the intended action and in fact are counter to the intended action.  Thus, now that you are bullying yourself, you have to work extra hard physically and psychologically to overcome the counter-intentions of the body and cross-motivations of the mind.

Most of us are completely unaware of the counter-intention/cross-motivations on a physical and sometimes even a mental level.  The Feldenkrais Method can be used to help you can gain awareness of the thought and the corresponding physical contractions.  After you have gained awareness of the contraction, you can do something to alter or prevent the habitual physical response.  This causes the nervous system to be taken out of its habitual pattern, allowing a moment in which another choice can arise. The counter-intention that arises on the physical level has been unseated.  Action in the intended direction has a chance.

Learning to sense oneself to the point of noticing parasitic contractions and counter-intentions can take time and practice.  But, Feldenkrais lessons are specifically designed to help you learn to sense your body in this way.  Awareness Through Movement (or “ATM”) classes guide you through a series of movements with the goal of gaining awareness of how you move in order to create choice about how you move.  Feldenkrais eloquently states it as follows:

“if we do not know what we are actually enacting then we cannot possibly do what we want….An obvious solution is to preoccupy ourselves not with what we do but how we do it.  The ‘how’ is the hallmark of our individuality; it is an inquiry into the process of acting.  If we look at how we do things, we might find an alternative way of doing them, i.e. have some free choice.  For if we have no alternative, we have not choice at all.” (Feldenkrais, Moshe, The Elusive Obvious p. xi- xii, 1981)

Therefore, the goal of ATM lessons is to gain clarity and understanding about how you move.  In doing so, you can notice many things about how you do things, such as:

• When do you hold your breath?

• How do you hold your breath when something is difficult?

• What do you do when you get frustrated? Where do you tighten?  What are you thoughts at that moment?  Do you try harder? Or do you make it simpler and do less?

• What is your relationship to ambition?  Can you do something for the sake of it feeling good or easy or are you compelled to accomplish or attain a goal?

• Can you notice parasitic contractions in any movement or action you try to make?  Can you notice the parasitic contractions that arise, just at the thought of doing something you do not want to do?

As you begin to notice at this level, you can make a choice to do something differently.  Until you notice that you even hold your breath when needing to do something, you can’t start to untangle the web to clearer action.

Putting It Into Practice

Let’s look at a practical example of how you can begin to shift from bullying yourself into action towards motivating from a clear intention with minimal counter-intentions.

Mental Level:  Noticing the Thought “Ought To” and “Should”

Look at your To Do list for the coming week or day.  Try to switch as many things on your To Do List to an affirmative choice to do it or not to do it. Each day, review your To Do List and note next to as many items as possible “I chose to do this” or “I chose not to do it.”  See if you can notice a shift in your being, body and attitude when you make a clear choice that is not motivated by the thought “I ought to” or “I should.”

Physical/Somatic Level: Noticing Parasitic Contractions

These examples require you to have a high degree of somatic awareness.  If you do not already have a high degree of awareness, you may want to commit to going to an ATM class to develop the skill to sense yourself in this way or you may want to take on this exploration within to context of an ATM lesson.

Notice when you tell yourself that you ought to do something.  Notice what muscle contractions are associated with the thought of doing the action.  Can you sense yourself holding your breath, tightening your diaphragm, or clenching your jaw either when doing the actual action or when you nag yourself to do the action?

This is not an easy exercise, so give yourself time to learn to sense your body in this way. At first you may only sense this level of detail when you are doing an ATM lesson.  You can take on the practice of doing ATM lessons with the intention of noticing when you feel like you ought to attain some part of the action.  At the moment you notice the thought, pay attention to what is happening in your body.  With time, you will be able to catch yourself in life as well.

Conversely, try to pay attention to those times you find yourself making excessive effort or parasitic contractions in the body, such as holding your breath, tightening your diaphragm, clenching your jaw or holding your hands rigid.  (You may find other ways that you hold excess tension—pay attention for your unique way).  At the moment that you find yourself doing some sort of “parasitic contraction,” note what you were thinking and feeling just before you noticed the parasitic contraction.  Then try to soften the contraction.  As you begin to catch yourself more and more frequently, you will start to untie the habitual contraction from the thought, action or feeling and a new possibility will arise.

A Completely Different Way: Waiting for Inspiration

Finally, there’s another approach that for many of you will seem impossible at first glance.  But, for the right situation it can work well. It involves taking a break from all that you are trying to talk yourself or bully yourself into doing.  Be lazy if necessary.  Do nothing.  Lie on the couch for a few days.  A point will come when you will have to act but it will be from a clear motivation and inspiration.  To be successful at this approach, you must commit to not acting until you are truly motivated.  For many of you who compulsively act and get stuff done, this will be very difficult.  However, it can be very powerful and can radically alter how you motivate yourself in many areas of your life.

I used this approach when I was getting an overwhelming amount of input and ideas from others about how I should market my business. My head was spinning with the list of marketing angles and articles I should write.  There were many things I “should” have done.  And, many of them were logical, but did not feel right for me or my values.  I did not want to fall into the trap of doing what I should do, instead of what my heart wanted to do because I knew that it would otherwise not be sustainable.  When I stopped to ignore all the input and do nothing for a few days, I was eventually moved to action from a place of inspiration.  The cross-motivations were gone and I could act clearly and decisively.

At first it was scary to “do nothing.”  I worried about never getting off the couch.   But in the end I found that it brought me much greater clarity and motivation. My actions arose because the direction felt aligned with my values and goals.  I didn’t have to muscle myself into action–instead I freely and clearly took action.  It’s much more fun and, in the end, I get a lot more done.  After doing this exercise a few times, it is much easier for me to sense what is internally motivating me so I don’t have to stop everything in order to find inspiration.  I can tap into a place of internal motivation and shut out the nagging voice that tries to bully me into action.  When I notice the bullying voice, I stop to take stock of the situation.

It’s important to pick the right type of activity for this exercise.  Obviously, there are many life situations that may not work with this approach.  For me, I usually have to bully myself to pay bills.  I don’t think I will ever be internally motivated or inspired to pay them. Since its not advisable to ignore them, it’s not advisable to wait and see if I get inspired.  However, there are many areas in which this approach will work.  I recommend choosing an area of your life where there are many options, lots of outside input and room to act from your heart. Over time, acting from this place will get easier.

Summary
Feldenkrais beautifully states, “I believe that knowing oneself is the most important thing a human being can do for himself.  How can one know oneself?  By learning to act, not as one should, but as one does.” (Feldenkrais, Moshe; The Elusive Obvious, p. xi, 1981).  These are fine words to live by.  Because forcing, bullying or nagging oneself into action is not sustainable and over time it will pull you away from who you are and what you truly want.  By learning to reduce counter-intentions at the physical and mental level, you can take actions that have a clear intention and are therefore, much more sustainable.

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, somatic coaching, Feldenkrais